Opening Note (Therapy & Transparency)
I started this journal because writing is cheaper and often more effective than paying a psychiatrist (I truly respect the profession, but I felt too guilty not paying them what they deserve). This journal is a personal reflection, and while I have tried to write carefully, some individuals may be mentioned. My goal is straightforward: growth through self-reflection and introspection.
The Mid-Year Force Quit Maneuver
The decision to resign at the end of June 2025, right when the job market was tightening up due to widespread corporate “efficiencies”, honestly felt like a social experiment I was running on myself. It sounds insane, but I made that decision with full awareness, almost as a test to see how far this “crazy move” could take me.
It was genuinely difficult to walk away. I loved my team, and more importantly, I deeply valued the stable, consistent monthly financial output. However, as an Engineer trained to analyze minor issues before a system completely crashes, I had a log of observations I couldn’t ignore.
My professional integrity and sanity required me to hit the “Force Quit” button due to several structural bugs that were becoming intolerable:
1. Architectural Sins: The Flawed, Forced Release
Seeing a feature with obvious logic defects being rushed to production, often released without even notifying the developer team responsible for maintenance, that’s not just a mistake; it’s an architectural sin. I possess deep skills, but I felt guilty being forced to deploy code I knew would destabilize the ecosystem and inevitably harm the product.
2. The Communication Resource Leak
- Meeting Inefficiency: Spending hours in endless online meetings just to hear things that could be documented clearly in a single changelog entry was painful. It was a massive waste of valuable engineering time. The irony? Someone was hired specifically to bridge communication, yet all Engineers were still required to attend every meeting.
- Lack of Respect: I grew very uncomfortable being constantly referenced to AI Chat responses, especially when I knew those references were based on outdated documentation that didn’t apply to our new platform release. It felt deeply disrespectful, like being treated as a junior who needed to be spoon-fed information. I refuse to be in an environment where my experience is dismissed in favor of instant but flawed AI suggestions.
3. The Leadership Red Flags
These symptoms, based on my experience, often surface when a company enters a panic phase driven by ill-advised efficiency goals. When I saw certain decisions that made me skeptical (and trust me, I’m an optimist!), and even senior Engineers from large corporations pretended not to notice, I realized the problem was rooted deeply in the way the corporation functioned. I concluded it was time to initiate a total career refactoring, seeking a new “Laboratory” that values disciplined processes and transparent communication.
The AI Paradox and The Job Market Reality (From Hero to Zero)
1. The Skill Fundamental Dilemma
I must admit, the AI trend is a double-edged sword. For students or beginners, AI acts as a “savior”, instantly generating high grades and fancy portfolios, often without them building solid fundamentals. Their academic scores might soar, but are they truly deserving of that merit? This isn’t just an opinion; it’s an observation. I worry about what happens 10–20 years from now when these students occupy specialist roles.
2. The Career Roller Coaster
A similar phenomenon affects the corporate world. Many companies are overly confident, seeing AI as a shortcut to budget efficiency by aggressively reducing headcount. The irony is stark: despite my 10 years of experience in this industry, I’m now struggling, sending dozens of CVs and Cover Letters, often to international companies, just to land an interview. A year ago, I was comfortably turning down two to three job offers per month due to my comfort in the previous role. Now, it feels like fighting over scarce discount coupons!
3. The Strategic Use of AI
I’m not anti-AI; I use AI tools myself to review and analyze my code. But I humbly draw a line at relying on AI for entirely new domains. Fundamental expertise is not something you can instantly generate with a single prompt. I’m not complaining, just strategizing; I need to find the right pattern to perform again and generate my own revenue, making myself ‘un-rejectable’.
Tactics 3.0: Integrity Over Exploitation
1. Avoiding “Toxic Maturity” in Agencies
During this search, I am deliberately avoiding immature work environments—especially agencies—that offer high pay but lead to burnout. I’ve seen too many instances where a UI/UX Designer gets a month, but the Engineering execution phase is allotted one single day. This is profoundly unfair, wastes time, and positions the specialist as merely a laborer.
2. Search Strategy and Side Projects
- Skipping Recruiters: As November and December approach, I’m prioritizing direct applications. My research on turnover rates among candidates recommended by recruiters during this period was discouraging.
- Building Value: It feels more rational to write, explore, and manage themes (Shopify, WordPress, and React-based frameworks) for sale. This very journal is built on a simple WordPress theme I created myself. This is my way of inviting “that” opportunity to come my way while I wait.
3. On Being the “Rebel” Specialist
I view flagging feature defects to the client not as “rebellion”, but as essential risk mitigation. Experience teaches that releasing flawed features is like launching a product with a time bomb attached. It is the specialist’s duty to protect the client’s investment. Quality assurance always takes precedence over blind adherence to a brief.
A man ages the moment he stops exploring and starts merely obeying his superior for economic reasons. I still want to grow. Hopefully, I’ll be lucky enough to find my new “stable income laboratory” soon.